Spanking

How would you like to be spanked? I have a ceiling fan blade here. Oh let's see there's a paddle. Maybe a belt will do. No? Would you like a wooden spoon instead? Should I break out the stainless steel spatula? How bout dat trusty old flip flop? Hmmm maybe the back of my brush will suffice? Ooh I know, I know! A good thick slice of bacon for that ass!